By A.M Stewart
As I’m watching my son the other day, I begin to take notice
of the seemingly effort-less-ness of his smiling and laughing. Huh, I thought.
He looked to be so joyful for (really) no apparent reason. Or perhaps, there wasn’t any ‘reason’ my
brain could come up with as to why he was acting so happy in that moment. (I
should mention my son is 2.5 years old.)
I wonder why he’s so happy, I thought. Then something
profound came to me.
He is living in his true state of being!
There is no ‘reason’ we have to have in order to be happy or
joyful – but for the mere sake of existing – of being – of living.
Tosh, my son, was simply being - expressing the pure
love that is him.
Then I thought, you know, adults, teenagers, stressed-out
individuals - ALL humans - have this ability.
An ability that is so natural, like water flowing down a river. No effort needed because it is who we
are.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am like every other parent out
there who clinches her teeth as their toddler throws a tantrum in the
Library. Who (at times) uses all her
strength to hold back from acting on the immediate thoughts in her head as her
child hits her and throws objects at her (currently dealing with this). Who
criticizes herself with loads of judgement when her son comes back from a night
at Grandma’s and behaved like an ‘angel’. (Why can’t he do that for me?) Yes, just because I’m writing this doesn’t
mean I’m immune to being human.
However, I do find that when I’m open to learning, I do
indeed learn so very much.
Even from my toddler son.
(Yes, you read that correctly).
Actually, tons of learning happens when I am present with my
child.
We visited the zoo several weekends ago with Tosh, our son. As we approached the entrance, I glimpsed a
sign that said, “Water is never tired of flowing.”
Of course!
Because water is just flowing, surrendering to the flow, much like
children know how to do so naturally.
As we navigated the Zoo, I had all these thoughts about what
we ‘should’ or ‘needed’ to cover. Tosh,
on the other hand, had completely different ideas about how to see the
Zoo.
He just flowed.
And me, in my innocent thinking, trying numerous times to
drag or coerce him to see the chimps … “Monkeys are over here Tosh,” I
said. “Here there are - down here, come
on, come on,” I kept telling him. Ultimately
feeling like some kind of monkey drug dealer to my child.
Tosh, on the other hand, was flowing through the Zoo. At his pace, through his eyes. Really being present with what came into
view.
Instead of wanting to see the monkeys right away – his
vision caught a statute of some tigers.
So I relaxed. And (for the most
part) allowed Tosh to guide us through the Zoo.
Being patient and present with him.
We stopped at the Lions, who were taking some serious
cat-naps, when suddenly, some ants on the ground caught Tosh’s attention. Ok I thought, let’s observe some ants.
When I relaxed, and allowed myself to
experience the flow, I noticed I was having a much more enjoyable
experience.
When I was was being ‘forceful’ in my attempts, I felt tense
and, well, kinda off. Like something
didn’t feel quite right. (by the way, we
did end up seeing the chimps)
So what does all this mean, really?
For me, I was learning (again, yes, once again) that when I
decided to be open to learning, something miraculous happened:
I was able to feel and be inside this pure, love-state.
Our natural state.
So why, sometimes, does it feel like REAL effort to be in
this supposedly ‘natural’ Love and Wisdom state?
Our thoughts!
Without going into too much detail here: we, especially
adults, can have a lot of thoughts about life, about situations, about people,
about the past – just about anything! (Like my thoughts about how the Zoo ‘needed’
to be seen)
It is only our momentary thoughts that happen to ‘get in the
way’ of us being able to recognize that pure Love-Wisdom-state.
The most awesome thing to know is:
We always have the capacity to feel this love-state, this
joy, this peace, this contentment in life – regardless of what may be happening
situationally or circumstantially.
For us to experience this love-state (sometimes referred to
this as Wisdom) all we have to do is exist, to be alive! That’s it!
No contract to sign or payments ...
The Love inside you is already and always there. It’s our
gift as human beings.
It may just be our innocent, temporary thinking about the
situation or whatever we’re dealing with in that moment that happens to take
our attention away from the truth of who we are, what is present, what is truly
at our core.
Every day my son reminds me of the infinite Love that is
me.
I observe how quickly his moods change and how swifty he can
move from being placed in ‘quiet time’ to hugging and kissing me the moment he
is released.
The same is true for us adults too. If we allowed it.
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between
experiencing a good day and a bad day is?
Let’s take it even deeper than the surface issues. Life is full of what I call ‘surface issues.’ For
instance, when you can’t pay a bill, or your kitchen floor floods for no apparent
reason or your tax return is seized by the student loan people (current personal
issues I’m speaking of!).
These are all ‘surface’ issues, life issues, things that
inevitably come up in life that you really may have no control over whatsoever!
A.K.A. external things
So, what is beneath all these ‘surface issues’?
Even in the midst of all these issues, your ultimate state
of Love and Wisdom is still present. Find out for yourself.
When we see ourselves caught up in obsessive ‘thinking’
about things, do you think it’s easier or harder to find a solution?
On the other side, when you are feeling at ease and maybe at
peace, have you ever had a solution to a problem or question surface
immediately?
These are questions I encourage you to explore for your own
benefit.
I ‘play’ like this in life a lot. Like, “What happens when I slow down and come
into the present moment in dealing with a tough, tough situation?” I’ve learned a lot in this way of
self-exploration and introspection.
I’m not asking that you trust what I write about – more that
you explore it for yourself.
What I write is not about a destination that seeks
‘perfection’ rather, simply, an exploration of the understanding of how we
operate as human beings.
Yes, there are times I fly off the handle – and have even
yelled (eek) at my son – and my husband.
Having embarked upon understanding this inside-out nature to
life helps me see why I may have reacted that way. It’s easier for me to forgive myself for the
stumbles along the way too.
Understanding our human-ness has opened my heart to myself and those
around me.
Children can be our best teachers.
If we are open to learn.
With Love and Gratitude Always
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