What if Love is always there?

By A.M. Stewart

One Sunday afternoon, my husband and I are catching up on some house work. As I'm folding laundry, I look outside the living room window. I can see my son Tosh playing on his swing set. The leaves are falling and blowing swiftly through the air as the months have changed into a new season.

 And in this moment, my heart feels so full of love. And 'something' is in recognition of this ever-present love. It's perfect and beautiful. And there is no effort to 'do' anything, except to acknowledge the presence of this love. There is no need to create or make it – because it's just always here.

Sometimes I feel like we can get into these habits of busying ourselves. Like the weekend has to have so much production, every ounce of time needs to be taken advantage of, every possible 'thing' to do needs to be considered for the sake of making memories with our family and for our children. (I almost feel exhausted just writing about all that!).

But what if the truth was, by doing ALL that – we're actually distracting ourselves from fully recognizing the love that is ALREADY present. We don't need to organize or create it. It's there for us to enjoy anytime, anywhere, doing anything … what if we recognized this? What if we could let go of some of our personal thinking about life? What would we experience next?

What if Love, Peace, Joy, exists within us always. Like, always always. Like, it never leaves! Even in chaos it's there! Would we begin to Trust that more than our personally created thinking about life?

I can tell you personally that when I trust it's there, Life flows so much more effortlessly. And is a JOY. Even while washing dishes! But when I forget this, I create a lot of misery for myself and sometimes for those around me.

As LeVar Burton (Reading Rainbow) would say, “But you don't have to take my word for it!”

In other words, see for yourself. What if Love is always there?

If you are interested in individual or group Spiritual Coaching, please contact me at amstewartview@gmail.com

For several years I have worked with individuals and groups helping people gain a deeper understanding of how and where our experience of life is being created. This approach is universal, meaning that it does not interfere with any particular belief system, religion or personal background. You will find these psychological Principles are the 'ingredients' to all life.

Resisting Motherhood

By A.M. Stewart

Can I just admit to you there are some moments and possibly days I do not like being a mother.  Yikes! I know … I’ve said the words no mother is ‘suppose’ to say.  But I did it. There it is. Now that we’ve established some honesty here, I’m going to take it further.

There are even times I have to bite my lip so hard not to scream profanities running wild in my brain while my toddler son is hitting me repeatedly waiting in the check out line at Sam’s. 

Sometimes it takes every tiny inch of my will power not to hit my child.  Did I just say that?

Yes, well, I am in the camp that does not believe hitting actually helps – I believe the opposite, actually.  Don’t worry this isn’t leading up to a lecture where I spew off statistics about the harm in harming your child.  I’ll respect you enough to let you decide what you think is best when rearing your own child.

Back to the point, I resist being a mother. But just for this moment.  Maybe even just for today.

Yes … I resist the notion that I have to locate Buzz Lightyear again for the 5^th time today.  I resist the laundry. The dishes. The constant coaxing to be buckled into a carseat.  I resist the looks people give me when my son runs free and wild down isles of books in the Library.  I resist trying to make my high-energy toddler sit through story time, grasping at his waist, desperately trying to convince him THIS IS a fun time. I resist cleaning the pee out of our bed and off the floor and then off the couch.

I resist being a mother today.

I resist the tantrums. The kicking. The hitting. The constant making of food. I resist, even, the sound of a voice saying, “Mommy.” I resist exhaustion and reading books about snakes. I resist it ALL.

I resist being a mother today.

I resist saying all day long, “Can you please use your words?” “Please put that back” and “”We need to wait our turn.”  I resist my accelerated heart rate when an inconsolable child cannot be consoled while riding in the car. I resist the feeling of resistance. I resist it ALL.

I resist being a mother today.

And when the day is over, my resistance soon disappears.  Like those one-day parking-lot carnivals I’d seen up North, all of a sudden missing like it never once existed. Like it was all in my head. 

When my resistance is all tired out from a long day of resisting, contentment soon takes its place. And all of the things I once resisted are somehow fine. Then I remember this gift and pleasure. Then I remember its ok to resist things sometimes too - even being a mother.

And luckily I remember, this life isn’t so serious in the end.

A Letter to my son

Dear Child,
You have eloquently and fiercely reminded me of the Purpose of Life in your 2.5 years of this World:
To Love and be of Joy for the mere beauty of existing; To forgive and love again throughout each trial and tribulation; To be uncomfortable and struggle when you cannot have everything and then to quickly be ok with that too; To be of complete awe and appreciation for the simple-ness of Life; And to hold no kind of opinion that would affect your Love for anything. For Love does not dwell inside lines adults create.
Thank you for teaching me your Wisdom.
Love,
Your Mama

Parenting and Being Human: Lessons From A Toddler

By A.M Stewart

 

As I’m watching my son the other day, I begin to take notice of the seemingly effort-less-ness of his smiling and laughing.  Huh, I thought. 

He looked to be so joyful for (really) no apparent reason.  Or perhaps, there wasn’t any ‘reason’ my brain could come up with as to why he was acting so happy in that moment. (I should mention my son is 2.5 years old.)

I wonder why he’s so happy, I thought. Then something profound came to me. 

He is living in his true state of being! 

There is no ‘reason’ we have to have in order to be happy or joyful – but for the mere sake of existing – of being – of living.

Tosh, my son, was simply being - expressing the pure love that is him. 

Then I thought, you know, adults, teenagers, stressed-out individuals - ALL humans - have this ability.  An ability that is so natural, like water flowing down a river.  No effort needed because it is who we are. 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am like every other parent out there who clinches her teeth as their toddler throws a tantrum in the Library.  Who (at times) uses all her strength to hold back from acting on the immediate thoughts in her head as her child hits her and throws objects at her (currently dealing with this). Who criticizes herself with loads of judgement when her son comes back from a night at Grandma’s and behaved like an ‘angel’. (Why can’t he do that for me?)  Yes, just because I’m writing this doesn’t mean I’m immune to being human. 

However, I do find that when I’m open to learning, I do indeed learn so very much. 

Even from my toddler son.  (Yes, you read that correctly).

Actually, tons of learning happens when I am present with my child.

We visited the zoo several weekends ago with Tosh, our son.  As we approached the entrance, I glimpsed a sign that said, “Water is never tired of flowing.”   

Of course!  

Because water is just flowing, surrendering to the flow, much like children know how to do so naturally.

As we navigated the Zoo, I had all these thoughts about what we ‘should’ or ‘needed’ to cover.  Tosh, on the other hand, had completely different ideas about how to see the Zoo.   

He just flowed. 

And me, in my innocent thinking, trying numerous times to drag or coerce him to see the chimps … “Monkeys are over here Tosh,” I said.  “Here there are - down here, come on, come on,” I kept telling him.  Ultimately feeling like some kind of monkey drug dealer to my child.

 Tosh, on the other hand, was flowing through the Zoo.  At his pace, through his eyes.  Really being present with what came into view. 

Instead of wanting to see the monkeys right away – his vision caught a statute of some tigers.  So I relaxed.  And (for the most part) allowed Tosh to guide us through the Zoo.  Being patient and present with him.

We stopped at the Lions, who were taking some serious cat-naps, when suddenly, some ants on the ground caught Tosh’s attention.  Ok I thought, let’s observe some ants.   

When I relaxed, and allowed myself to experience the flow, I noticed I was having a much more enjoyable experience. 

When I was was being ‘forceful’ in my attempts, I felt tense and, well, kinda off.  Like something didn’t feel quite right.  (by the way, we did end up seeing the chimps)

So what does all this mean, really? 

For me, I was learning (again, yes, once again) that when I decided to be open to learning, something miraculous happened:

I was able to feel and be inside this pure, love-state.  

Our natural state.

So why, sometimes, does it feel like REAL effort to be in this supposedly ‘natural’ Love and Wisdom state?   

Our thoughts!

Without going into too much detail here: we, especially adults, can have a lot of thoughts about life, about situations, about people, about the past – just about anything!  (Like my thoughts about how the Zoo ‘needed’ to be seen)

It is only our momentary thoughts that happen to ‘get in the way’ of us being able to recognize that pure Love-Wisdom-state. 

The most awesome thing to know is:  

We always have the capacity to feel this love-state, this joy, this peace, this contentment in life – regardless of what may be happening situationally or circumstantially. 

For us to experience this love-state (sometimes referred to this as Wisdom) all we have to do is exist, to be alive!  That’s it!  No contract to sign or payments ...

The Love inside you is already and always there. It’s our gift as human beings.

It may just be our innocent, temporary thinking about the situation or whatever we’re dealing with in that moment that happens to take our attention away from the truth of who we are, what is present, what is truly at our core. 

Every day my son reminds me of the infinite Love that is me. 

I observe how quickly his moods change and how swifty he can move from being placed in ‘quiet time’ to hugging and kissing me the moment he is released. 

 The same is true for us adults too.  If we allowed it.

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between experiencing a good day and a bad day is? 

Let’s take it even deeper than the surface issues.  Life is full of what I call ‘surface issues.’   For instance, when you can’t pay a bill, or your kitchen floor floods for no apparent reason or your tax return is seized by the student loan people (current personal issues I’m speaking of!). 

These are all ‘surface’ issues, life issues, things that inevitably come up in life that you really may have no control over whatsoever!  A.K.A. external things

So, what is beneath all these ‘surface issues’?   

Even in the midst of all these issues, your ultimate state of Love and Wisdom is still present. Find out for yourself.      

When we see ourselves caught up in obsessive ‘thinking’ about things, do you think it’s easier or harder to find a solution?

On the other side, when you are feeling at ease and maybe at peace, have you ever had a solution to a problem or question surface immediately?

These are questions I encourage you to explore for your own benefit. 

I ‘play’ like this in life a lot.  Like, “What happens when I slow down and come into the present moment in dealing with a tough, tough situation?”  I’ve learned a lot in this way of self-exploration and introspection. 

I’m not asking that you trust what I write about – more that you explore it for yourself.

What I write is not about a destination that seeks ‘perfection’ rather, simply, an exploration of the understanding of how we operate as human beings. 

Yes, there are times I fly off the handle – and have even yelled (eek) at my son – and my husband. 

Having embarked upon understanding this inside-out nature to life helps me see why I may have reacted that way.  It’s easier for me to forgive myself for the stumbles along the way too.  Understanding our human-ness has opened my heart to myself and those around me.

Children can be our best teachers.   

 If we are open to learn.

With Love and Gratitude Always